Success is not something outside of myself, something I strive for and take action for. Success in rather inside of me. It is who I am, who I choose to be, how I relate to the people and the world around me, and most importantly, how I choose to relate to everything I encounter in life.
For so long I have “strived” for success. I did it with spiritual success when I was a Christian, and I’ve been doing it in business since entering that arena as well. I keep thinking that there must be something I can DO to achieve the success I want – the money, the freedom, the happiness.
But I am realizing that it all boils down to what is inside – who I am. My definition of success has been that of something outside of myself, almost beyond my control, something that tells me when to jump and where. In reality, success is bubbling up inside of me, seeking to be acknowledged and allowed to explode out of me.
Success is what my heart desires most – and when I look deep enough I realize that it isn’t “money” or other materialistic things. There’s a deeper longing, a deeper desire. The call of my heart, my essential self. And when I follow this call, I discover it is indeed the path to happiness and fulfillment.
At least that’s how it appears – I’ll let you know for sure once I get there. 
I know it to be true though. It resonates with that essential self. The only path to true success is through knowing who I am, what I desire, and how to relate to the world around me through that lens of me-ness.
I can strive all I want. I can strain and push and work myself to exhaustion – but if I don’t know who I am and where I really want to go, what good will it do me? I’ll still be miserable, poor, and unfulfilled.
On the other hand, I can find out who I am, what I want, and what makes me happy and fulfilled, and THEN I can work on the outward actions to move toward my own North Star.
And so continues the journey to discover me and what I’m all about.
I don’t know what I will find. I’ve never dug very deep into this goldmine of myself. What potential is lurking just beneath the surface? What delights and joys await me as I delve into the person that is me?
It scares me a bit, this knowing that success is within me. This seeking to connect with myself. There are fears lurking, fears that I won’t like what I find, fears that I won’t be able to find anything – that I’ve somehow blocked off all that really is me by trying to fit in. Fears that even if I do discover who I am, it still won’t be “enough” and I still won’t find the success I want.
Silly fears, I know. But real, none the less.
And so I press on, past the fears, to take hold of my destiny.
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