Learning to live with another person is not as easy as it at first seems. I was once very naive about it, thinking that it would be simple, that we’d just live together and that would be that. Sure, I knew in my head that there would be things to work through, but actually experiencing it is a whole other story!
It’s one thing to make concessions about little pet peeves, or who does the laundry, or how we divide up the cooking and cleaning. Even coordinating our schedules has never really been an issue. We think alike in so many areas that I have a tendency to take it for granted sometimes.
Recently I discovered an area where my significant other and I do not think alike, and I’m experiencing the challenge of figuring out how to balance my truth with his truth when they are radically different.
The issue is essentially health – more specifically conventional health beliefs as opposed to holistic or more natural/organic health beliefs. We definitely do not quite see eye to eye on that stuff! It came up most recently when I was sick and wanting to try completely natural and herbal remedies to help my body heal. His recommendation was to take Neocitron, cough syrup, Cold FX, etc. My gut level reaction to that is “No thank you, that stuff scares me – I don’t know what they put in it, and it’s only job is to take care of the symptoms, not the root problem!”
The topic came up again regarding skin care, where again I am wanting to go natural, herbal, etc. I’m looking at it from more of a holistic point of view, realizing that my whole body is involved, and that acne or any other disease or symptom is simply a message from my body that something is wrong. But not everyone is on that same bandwagon!
To try and explain where I’m coming from on that is not as easy as I would have once thought! We think completely differently about this stuff. My immediate, habitual response is to think that I’m right and he’s not. But who says that’s true? Just because I believe it, or it works for me, doesn’t mean that the way he sees it and does it is wrong either! So I’m working on getting out of that judgmental mindset and being more accepting of other peoples’ beliefs, attitudes, opinions, and essentially their truth.
Ultimately, I have to make those kinds of health and body decisions for myself. It’s my skin and my life, and I have to follow what I believe to be the best route for optimizing my health. But I don’t have to do it at the expense of my relationship. I can make those decisions for myself, and let him make his own decisions. If we don’t see eye to eye, that’s okay. We’re never going to see things exactly the same. That doesn’t mean we can’t get along, enjoy life together, and enjoy the many things we do share.
Coming from a background in religion, it is a bit of a challenge for me to change my mindset on this stuff. I was well-trained to be judgmental, to believe that other people were “wrong”. Religion does a good job of creating that mindset! But I am finally learning that my truth is not necessarily somebody else’s truth.
My journey is completely different from yours. Sure, there will be times, areas, where we connect, our paths cross or intersect for a while, even long term. There will be things we agree on and think the same on. But there will always be differences, things we do not quite see eye to eye on. Many of those things will seem huge, and it will be easy to start to think that the other person is missing the boat, or has it wrong. My challenge for myself – and I invite you to join me on this! – is to truly learn to let others be themselves and live their own truth.
(Disclaimer: This isn’t to say that if someone is genuinely harming themselves or others that I should just stand by and let them continue on destructively. But most of us already know that. It’s common sense. I’m talking about the issues that are more a matter of opinion, beliefs, mindsets, etc.)
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic as well! 
Leave me a comment below and share your insight on this.
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