This post was inspired by Allison Nazarian’s post “My Fake Friends” and by a comment discussion on Reese Spykerman’s post “Gathering Up the Pieces We Left Behind” in the 30 Days to Irresistible Presence blog series.
I discovered the Internet as a young teen and it changed my world.
I was always shy and quiet. Being homeschooled meant I wasn’t around too many other kids, so missed out on being picked on because of it, but I still always felt awkward around other kids my age, either at church or wherever else I encountered them.
I never felt like I fit in anywhere.
I was often thought a snob or to be giving the cold shoulder, just because I was quiet, didn’t say much, and felt awkward relating to people so would often avoid it.
Then I discovered a new world, a place where I could be myself. A world where no one was judging me because I was quiet, a place where I could be free to say what was on my mind and to join the conversation naturally. A world where I could meet other like-minded people, a place where I could belong.
The online world changed me, even at that young age it opened up new possibilities for me and ushered me into a place where I could express myself more easily.
I know I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the various online communities I have discovered and been part of along the way.
So why is there a part of me that feels *GUILTY* about this?
I have made some wonderful friends online, I have connected with people who have changed my life, inspired me to be more, and been there to support me when I needed – all without any actual face to face interaction! These people have been truer friends than many of the people I have known in person, and yet there is this stigma around the Internet that wants to discount it/them and say they aren’t as “real” as the people we interact with everyday.
I find that guilt creeping in, telling me that the only reason I connect well with these people online is because I can’t “hack it” in the real world. I can’t relate well to people in person, so I have to find them virtually. Like somehow these friendships are not as valuable and authentic as the face to face ones.
I call BULLSHIT on that stigma, that guilt. We are living in a new world, a world where technology has become a part of everyday life, a place where we are ABLE to meet and connect with people from all over the globe. And there is nothing less real about them or the community than the people we meet in our local community.
The Internet allows me to expand my community, to lengthen my reach, and to easily find other LIKE-MINDED people to connect with. It allows us to gather in communities that would be impossible to create without the power of the virtual world.
It not only expands our community and network, but it expands our potential and the possibilities of what we can accomplish.
I am learning from people all around the world, people who have succeeded in areas I have only dreamed of and people who have a new, fresh perspective to offer. And I can tap into this to help me achieve far greater things that I have yet dreamed possible, and to help others to do the same.
The shy, quiet girl from my childhood is still quiet, although much less shy and far more confident in my own skin. I have begun to take my place in the global community, to start to define who I am and what I have to offer to the world that no one else can. I have found a place to belong, where I fit in and can grow and help others do the same.
For me, my online community is more real and life changing than any physical community I’ve lived in. And that’s okay.
Related posts:
YES! Love it…and good for you! If other people don’t get it, that is OK. We don’t need them to get it. We know what works for us, what’s positive, what real connections are and we are open to whatever forms those things come in.
YAY YOU!
xo ~ Alli
P.S. Thank you for the shout-out
Alli;
You’re very welcome – and thanks for dropping by and leaving some support and encouragement.
Hey! I didn’t know that you were homeschooled. I was homeschooled from 3-highschool too.
I think that it has made a huge impact on how I’ve been able to self-teach myself internet, web and marketing related material.
I also think of myself as very introverted. And I relate to people online better than in real life. (I had the same stigmatization of being thought of as snobbish because early on, I too had trouble relating to people.) I’ve had to force myself to break free of that and learned how to introduce myself to people. It wasn’t as hard as I’d thought.
You are right though, our online communities are just as important as real life friends and we can learn as much from them as any other group.
Cool – it’s great to keep getting to know you better, Jenn!
Homeschooling was definitely a good thing for me. Sure, I’ve struggled with relating to people, but overall it gave me awesome tools to really get shit done in my life! The self-teaching thing is pretty big. 
Thanks for stopping by and connecting – great to hear from you!