I realized even more how much I do things or attempt to do things because other people expect me to, think I should, or because I think I should. And often because I think other people think I should or expect me to.
I’ve been doing this with business, and last night I put a stop to it.
I don’t really want to design websites for other people. And I certainly don’t want to do it on a larger scale than I already have! Yes, there are parts of it that I enjoy. I enjoy the chance to be creative, to put something together that looks nice and makes someone else happy. I like to see people succeed and grow, and get excited about the possibilities and opportunities available on the internet.
I just don’t want to be stuck working for other people all the time.
And last night I realized that the main reason I had been looking at getting into the web design thing on a larger scale was because people expect me to do something like that. Jon thinks it’s a good idea, other people think it’s a good idea. I see that I could make decent money at it, and that people would appreciate having the service.
But it’s not really what I want to do. And that makes all the difference!
Then I put a different spin on things and looked at it from another point of view. I have a job, I am working for someone trading time for money. To be honest, I’m rather bored with the job, but it pays the bills, and will continue to do so for as long as I need it to, basically. If I added doing web design for other people, doing it in my off-work time, I would very quickly have my time filled doing work that all felt like “have-to” or “should” work.
Where is the fun in that?
I would very quickly get tired of it and start to resent it (and myself for choosing to do it!).
So now that I’ve seen how it would likely all go down, why not make a small directional change right now?
What would happen if instead I took my off-work time and chose to build on something that I really enjoy, the I LOVE to do in my “free” time?
Ta-da! Now we have a recipe for success, and I’m well on my way to developing the lifestyle that I really want!
Putting it in a different perspective like that really helped to clarify things for me and get me focused in the right direction – living life to the fullest and enjoying what I do.
I’ll still be working a job that isn’t very fulfilling for a while, but at least I won’t be adding to it! And eventually I will be ready to move on from that as well, to even more fully embrace the lifestyle I want and the activities that bring me joy.
It’s time to really let me be me, to cultivate those things that I find fun and enjoyable – and the money, the business, the lifestyle will follow and build around that.
And the adventures that I get to share in here will be even more Jessilicious! 
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Well said, Jess! I hear you on ALL of the above. Exactly where I am at right now. I want a business where I not only make money but also something I enjoy and doesn’t take up all my time. I hate being “married” to a job!
I added my website this time. It’s along way from being where I want it but it’s started at least. Its the first online business I’ve found that I actually believe in.
Well I am excited for you. I KNOW you will succeed in whatever you endeavor to do. Looking forward to hearing your success story. You go girl! Kathie
Ooooh, thanks for sharing your website, Kathie! Looks like you are off to a great start! Can’t wait to see how it goes for you.
So…. What does this mean?
What are you going to start now?
That is a good question, Heather!
I’ll let you know when I figure it out! For now, I am going to try some hobbies, activities, events, etc that I really enjoy and get me out meeting new people! I’m trusting the rest will fall into place and the next step will become clear.