holy sh*t moments and learning to fly

I had a superb holy sh*t moment this morning, as I was reading “Be Scary, Unfriend and Jump in Puddles: What to Do on Day 1” by @ElizabethPW. She was talking about taking that first step toward your Scary Idea – and my immediate thought was, I don’t have a scary idea! I don’t know what I want, and I don’t know what step to take toward what I want!

Then BAM! it hit me like a ton of bricks. Perhaps I don’t know exactly what I want, what my passion is – yet – but I do have a very good idea of what I don’t want, and what things are sucking up my energy!

And it surprised me to realize that it was time to let go of ALL of my websites (with the exception of this one blog). Yes, I said ALL of them. The romantic one, the web design one, and various other little niche ones that I’ve played around with.

The truth is, NONE of those are what I really want to do and what really gives me energy and passion! I was already going through a process of weeding out things, figuring I needed to focus on just ONE of them. Today I knew that I had to let them all go, that holding on to even one was still sucking up my energy.

So I closed the websites. It was a scary decision. My mind went NUTS trying to tell me that I shouldn’t really *close* them, that I should hang on to the one that was getting a fair amount of traffic and subscribers, that I shouldn’t just pull the plug on all of that hard work and time I’d put into them.

And yet I knew, that even if I just left one and just let it sit there without doing anything with it, I will still KNOW that it was just sitting there, and I would FEEL like I SHOULD be doing something with it. It would be sucking up my energy, leaving me with no room to receive new opportunities that come along.

So they are gone. Closed. Done. Scary to do, but so absolutely freeing. I feel like I can fly now, I can do anything I want. The possibilities are endless!

I now have room to receive whatever opportunities come my way that ARE me and ARE what I really truly want. I am ready to embark on my own adventures.

It feels good!

So what am I going to do now? I started a book last night that I am going to finish reading. I join MeetUp.com and a couple of local groups on there – a book club and a social group – and I am going to start getting out and meeting some new people. I am going to pick a yoga or some other type of workout class at the gym to attend.

I am going to try my hand at some hobbies, and get back to creating my vision boards and other crafty projects.

I am going to find out what I enjoy, what makes me happy, and what I am passionate about. The next step will become obvious when I am ready for it.

Related posts:

1. i used to make myself laugh – memoirs of an extinct childhood